Is it worth it? Life? Is all these struggles worth it? Are the tears worth it? Sometimes the pain is so great it's hard to breathe.
Yesterday I reached an old journal and started to read, reminded of a girl. A girl who seen so much death, so much sadness, a girl who has never settled long enough to call a place home, a girl of heartbreaks. A girl who only heard the gospel at the age of 13 for the first time. yeah that's me.
I feel like in my blog I have hidden a part of myself I hate. My past. I have done, wasted, and heard so much. God dramaticly saved me and here I am today. But I hate to look back at the violence I experienced long ago while involved with my parents in missions. When I was seven, a child died in my arms. That is just some of the cruelness we had to see there. Sometimes i want to move on, begging God to let me forget. But it's not that easy and it never willl be.
My next post is going to be about something else I really want to tell you guys about my past, but you'll have to wait and see
My life has alwyas been pain. I know it and I will know it. But the pain is worth every tear.
And my pain will make tomorrow sunnier :)
I owe ya'll an update. Big time. I guess I have been so busy with life....Friends and other things/ But I mean I don't really feel pressured to say everything that ever goes on to my followers. It's the truth.
Well in week I am heading out with my friend Liz to get some sunshine on the shores of South Carolina. Beach happiness. before that we're dressing up to go see the Hunger Games premire (midnight at least). I am so pumped.
I am not hosting a giveaway for my blog anniversary as promised. I am so sick of give-aways, you see. And I am super busy studying for my ACT and just can't anyway.
The main reason for this update is I really feel like I owe you an update on my dear friend Lauren that passed away from illness last November. Lauren was probably my best friend ever. She was always sick with a certain diease and it just beat her unexpectedly. Someone left a commnet on my blog about it and realized i should talk a little about it. I have to say its gets harder every day because it's longer since she died, thus I realize the longer it gets she really is not there anymore. I miss her blondness, her bubblyness and a lot more about her. She was a true christian. She loved God and I am so happy she is with him now. It's hard to let go though.
Sophie and I were talking the other night and Lauren came up and I just broke down a little. It's hard to let go of things. But the Lord has a reason so great I can't compreahend.
If your having a photo challenge please tell me and I will follow your blog and enter it :)