To My Little Sister

Dearest, your just so young. Your Jr year of highschool is upon you and Em tells me your having trouble.You still have so much life to live, you still have so many bridges to climb. Don't give up, ever as hard as they might treat you. Never stop smiling even if it hurts. Love fierce. Be fearless. Be who you are no matter what anybody will say. I know how hard highschool is and I'm so sorry you have to go there and not do school at home. I'm sorry it's hard with all those people to deal with. Just promise me you'll stay innocent. Don't give up the way you write on your hands, or awkwardly smile when your nervous, or can repeat Shakespere, or dance to yourself when your happy. I'm coming home soon and we'll have some study parties together like we used to and cry about stupid things like guys and popular girls. Darling, your unique. Your perfect. I know how hard loving someone is and I know your in love with someone who could care less. Just be you and don't change yourself for him. One day you'll find someone you loves you for you, not someone who needs you to change for them. I hope your highschool love turns out to be your true love or someone better comes along. I hope you save your firsts for that perfect time and don't give away the flawless angel you are. I hope some nights you drive and listen to sad songs loudly because that's who you are and nobody should change that. I hope you have a beautiful life and I mostly hope I get to be a part of it. I love you, baby. Your precious. Your my darling sister and one day I hope you live a million beautiful adventures. Please call me, even if it's three in the morning when you have your first heartbreak. Please call me when you are in true love for the first time. Please call me, because I love you. --Maya

here's to highschool and no regrets

When I look back at my highschool days, I see the times of an unfinished work. It was the painting of a picture, with some days looking bright and beautiful and other days full of dreading it would never be completed or even worse-completed ugly.

 It was the time God takes your life and let's you live radical. It also was dance parties, and believing you were forever. It was awakening stories within the soul. It was a time of music, of guitars, of campfires, of happiness. It was a time of wanderlust, of wanting, of farsickness. It was friends. It was those golden memories. It was the feeling of your first summer crush and the fearless leap you take in the process of loving someone. It was knowing for the first time life was truly amazing and worth living....

But it always wasn't like that.

Highschool is the nights of crying because you feel broken. Highschool is that first real love which leads to that first real heartbreak. Highschool is staying up all night studying for that test you put off all week. Highschool is full of regret. Highschool is long nights and dreading morning. Highschool is reality crashing upon your shoulders and life seeming so dim. It's watching friends give their everything to guys, thinking it's forever. And it never is. It's something wanting realtionships like those other girls had...even though you said you'd wait (and gosh I am so glad I'm still waiting).

So here's my last farewell...it's been eight months of school-less life and honestly some days I do miss highschool. I followed God through all those tough years and I have absolutely so regret in the path I took. But it's time to grow up in this same promise that He'll lead me home. It's time to move on.

Here's to highschool, the memories we'll always cherish, the nights we gave to much, the nights we didn't give enough, the friends we'll keep forever, and the scars that are slowly fading...here's to highschool and no regrets.

While I have not been blogging, I have been living

While I have not been blogging, I've been living radical.

It still seems like September, but somehow it's mid-November. How does that even happen? I'm so
used to warm weather, but this time of year I'm finding myself putting on a coat to go anywhere. It's odd. I'm not sure I like it. I'm used to wearing short sleeves this time of year. Stupid moving to mess up my mind :)

I've been finding the time passing way too fast, but the older I get the less it matters. Why would I look forward to breaks when it just means the same old same old working? But nevertheless I wish time wouldn't go so quick. I've been working for five months now, graduated for seven, and dating for six. It seems like yesterday those happy times were right before my eyes. But the more time goes, the stronger the memories are.

My precious kiddos are the same. Everyday I love nannying them more. They have really grown to be like my own children and I can't imagine time without them. Time forms the strongest bonds. Originally they were going to be spending this month with their grandma and I would time off, but that didn't work out. And I'm glad. I'm treasuring every moment. It seems like they will be off my hands for the entire December though, which leaves me making plans to go home for the entire month. I haven't been home in forever and I'm happy.

When I'm not taking care of those darlings....I've been taking long walks of late, listening to my cold sad November love songs and pondering life. I've been reading a whole lot including A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, anything John Green, and other handfuls of books. I've been trying to work on my music. All my feelings of late have been going into working on some new songs to write...and maybe one day I'll share one or two ;) I've been watching old episodes of Britain's Got Talent, crying my eyes off movie trailers, and learning to bake bread. I've been reading through Psalms, procrastinating when possible, and doing some blog designing when I'm bored.

I'm sorry for almost never blogging and when I do it's scattered and rambles. But thanks if your still reading my blog after all this time. You should win a prize. If you are, don't be shy to drop a comment and say hello...because I already love you whoever you are.

Smiles, Maya

p.s. Watch this, cry, and look forward to December: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSjbdufL828