2.18.2013

This Unexpected Joy

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Last night, I was driving home. Me, alone, in the midst of the city lights. A mix of snow and rain beat on the window. Sarah Groves faintly played on the radio.
 
This morning, I sat in a apartment, a cup of coffee in my hands, tears faint on my cheeks as I read The Word.
 
Today, I cuddled two beautiful children all day, listening to their laughs, dreaming of being a mommy someday.
 
Just now, I was sitting at a cafe downtown, talking with a soul-sister over coffee, the Lummineers playing faintly.  
 
During all these moments, I am so aware of His love and how great He is that I, once a wrench, now may learn to love Him.
 
He is SO very faithful and SO very wonderful. I was reading through old emails my seventeen year old self had sent one year ago. They were brimming with college plans and hopes. In my mind, a year later I would be in some college program, working part-time, and still living at home. And I dreamed I'd be pursuing my musical dreams. I never dreamed I'd be a full-time nanny, living in my very own basement apartment, and I'll be a married girl come spring. I've pushed the idea of a musical career behind me for the time being, and Will and I both feel God calling to be missionaries in the near future. What have I say to all this? God is good. He is so very good! I honestly feel sorry for Christian whose life's aren't filled with changes, turns, and even pain. All of this has simply taught me this earth is not worth living for. During every single change in my life, God's never failed me. He never will. Through every moment of suffering, He's only taught me that He is my treasure not this world. He's only constantely taught me more of His glory.
 
God's turned years and years of wondering and questions into an unexpected joy of only seeking him. A few months ago, I would wake up uncertain every morning but now I wake up with a certain feeling whatever may happen He will continue to absolutely good.
 
 I always knew life was going to different than I dreamed, but I had no idea what I was in for. I always knew Jesus was going to be good, but I never imagined His glory to be this bright.
 
So now, I am simply tearing up as I write this because I am so thankful.

4 comments:

  1. oh, this is so beautiful. today has been a rather tough day, and this just reminded me to be thankful for what I do have... thank you so much!

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  2. I loved this post so much. I kind of know what you mean. My life is constantly full of changes. I've moved four differnet times since 2007, and I feel like I never know where I'm going. You're such an encouragement when it comes to trusting God no matter where you are in life, and being content wherever He leads you. This post was such a blessing to me today <3

    ~Molly~
    mollyslittlecorner.blogspot.com

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  3. I found your blog through another blog I follow...and wow!!! You are amazing Maya! I have so enjoyed reading your lovely post! This post was exactly what I needed today! Thank you so much! :) May God continue to bless you and your life!
    -Emily
    PS: I am so blessed by hearing your love story :)

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  4. This post was so beautiful Maya...all your posts are. I often find that when I'm going through "something" I can feel God so much more. I haven't really figured out what to do in those quiet times... The future might hold so much, but I'm scared. I just fear even when I know it's silly. Trusting is hard a lot of times but in those little moments I stop fearing, then begin, then stop. Up and down. I'm hoping it will all balance soon. But this post was just a blessing Maya :D Sierra
    Keep growing beautiful!

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