all grown up

My whole childhood all I ever wanted was to grow up, to be old, to be big. To be all grown up. I thought being 16 was the best thing ever. When I was 10 I thought I was really old and smart and thought everyone younger was so so young. When I was 14 I thought I was so young, finally a teenager but still had so much time to grow.When I was 16 I was sure I was all grown up, so smart. And just could not wait to turn 18 and finally be an adult.Now being 18 all I feel is young again. I wish I was still 14.  Growing up is frightning. Suddenly there are choices to make. Suddenly I am grown up. Simply now I feel like a baby learning to walk.That's why I need God more than ever it seems. In Him I can be a child, with childlike faith. Because all I want is to now never grow up.

I never want to be all grown up.