It's funny how everyone is always saying all this stuff about losing yourself in the culture and becoming someone you aren't. But I think it's sort of impossible to lose yourself. Actually you can't. You can trick yourself to believing lies about yourself, but always if you look inside you see the same you.
I was thinking about this last night. I'd packed up my dinner, a book, my i-pod, and my journal and spent the night sitting on the train tracks and having the best friday night ever. It was one of those happy moments. As I watched the sunset I remembered a 16 year old me who would go down to the beach every night with a friend and watch the sunset.
I was different then.
Mostly because I'd grown to want to be one of the crowd. I'd changed things I thought were bad. Now, I realize those weren't bad things. Those were me things.
Sure, I've changed. But if you go inside deep I have the same soul the sixteen year old me had.
I never want to lose the true me. The same girl who is desprately in love with the ocean, quite out-going, sporty, bold, and pretty out-going. Sure, there are things I plain hate about myself. I wish I hadn't said half the things I said when I was in school. Well...you know? In books, every character makes mistakes. Even the hero's. We all have flaws to overcome, but the good parts of the hero is always what makes it strong. The weak things just help us get stronger.
Sometimes I even forget the character I am fighting to be, but I want to continue to fight to define the girl I want to be.
So true. I was just thinking about this, and I think what many people lose sight of is that after salvation, change IS the sanctification process, mistakes and all, and it's all part of God's plan to make us more like Him. This is the most important identity truth! =) xo
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