I'm Like a Flower, Waiting to Bloom

Driven by the strangled vein, showing no mercy I do it again.
Lately, I've felt like my blog title examples how I'm feeling. I'm a flower, blooming. Changing. Being shaped. Expering Frost-bitten winters of sorrow. And Springs of everlasting joys. I'm a rose, found in the thorns of this life and ripped be the small hands of a child. And crushed by the smallest creatures. A rose in full bloom is what I desire. To be a women of un-ending faith and forever blooms. I want people to gaze upon my beauty and see the beauty of my creator and the frangrance he anointed me with. I want my thorns to be barely seen, for my blooms are far too great in wonder for people to nodice them. I only want to be a flower in the garden of my God.

I've read through the bible before, but lately I've been hearing the unmistakable calling to read through it cover-to-cover. To read the creatin through the revalation. To know my Lord Jesis Christ better this way. I stumbled upon this quote on a lovely blog I read:
You know not what joys may be stored up for you in the cottage around which grace will plant the roses of content. ~Spurgeon
I have a confession to make. I really don't have a good relationship with my parents. They're not very good christians, which makes it difficult to obtain a deep relationship with them. Lately, God has been calling me to love them despite our differences and to try to save them, which I have given up on. Obeying them and witnessing to my own Mom has been the deepest struggle of my own life. I wanted a break and that's why I came to Live with emily for the month(my mother was not responding well to the response I had to the  death of my friend Lauren). In one week, I'm going home and I have faith God will help me switch our relationship around, for this is desire I've always had. I need to be faithful to my God and my parents.

“Being faithful in the smallest things is the way to gain, maintain, and demonstrate the strength needed to accomplish something great.”
Alex Harris
Another area I have always felt weak in is my own love life. I have had tendencys to be unfaithful in my thoughts regarding Purity and have always been negative towards embarcing this. God has lately been showing me that this is worth the on-going wait that fills my heart with dispair. He's shown me some of the guys in my life aren't that one guy I need to love. I've had struggles when boys have asked me out, having to tell them no. Yet I'm so glad that I am waiting for my speacial one!
I cannont wait for my husband to come. Well, yes I can. One day my beloved and I shall travel the world, proclaming the gospel to all nations.

I hope I cross your mind once in a while just so that
I won’t feel pathetic for thinking of you all the time.

Until that day,

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