I've been watching too many Disney movies and being pranked a little too much. And it's only day 2 of the beach outing. I saw Titanic in 3D by the way. Best movie outing ever. Plus I saw October Baby and It was not the best movie I have ever seen but it was empacting and wonderful.
On top of all of this, I have been bringing my guitar down to the beach to play a couple of songs and outreach down there. Me and my friend Ana have also been having some sweet spritual conversations and have been reading over our old journals.
I have surrendered my life to Christ and never shall i lose this sweet feeling of my life trusted in the almighty hands of God
These were the words a 15 year old self of me wrote in her journal. Surrender. Back then I surrendered everything to Christ but I was not sure where that would take me. Over the years I have learned surrender is a process in which it grows deeper every year of your life...the path gets more narrow....the pain gets more sweet.
Because of those nights when my heart aches and those nights when I just can't find He sweetly reminds me that He has laid the paths before me and these are the plans He has made for me. Someone once told me that God will never give you a mountain too high to climb, but I believe God will give you mountains you can barely climb so we will surrender using our own strengths and run entirely to Him.
Surrender it the thing we do our entire lives until at last we surrender ourselves last and die. I feel strange but death seems to be my greatest desire. For it not when I die but when I shall finally wake up. Oh to be in the arms of sweet Jesus finally, safe, at last. I desire this more than life or love itself.
My life is so confusing and empty and out there. I mean I have no idea where I am going or why I will go but in Romans 12: 2 it saids:
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
The will of God is perfect.
Last night I was doing devotions and I got up and starred out my window at the stars. It as the Lord truly spoke to me that night for I was reminded of a scripture in Genesis 15:
5 And he brought him outside and said, “Look toward heaven, and number the stars, if you are able to number them.” Then he said to him, “So shall your offspring be.” 6 And he believed the Lord, and he counted it to him as righteousness.
t was as the Lord was saying these same sweet words to me that night. Look to the stars and know that I have plans and a future for you! It might take a thousand years and my life might be suffering until Jesus brings my safetly home, but look to the stars! He loves me and will full-fill his promises to me. The greatest is the promise I have of eternal life in Him after His blood washes me clean.
I never knew searching in my old journal could spark some many dear thoughts. Remind me of pain, of love, of truth. Mostly it inspired me to tell you about surrender. Surrender yourslef and He shall make you whole again. What sweet thoughts!