I am the edge of something wonderful

 



Will and I sat in Starbucks the other night, reading part of our journals to each other. It's a thing we started even before our first date. It's a sort of way of finding each other into each other's mind. Unusally fun, right? Anyway in the midst of all my song lyrics and music jants I found a somewhat worthy paragraph I wrote about love when I was contemplating dating Will or not.

June 4th, 2012
 It It's confusing, being on the edge of something that could be wonderful. But you are so afraid of the dive. What if I drown? What I can't swim? Every step I take closer to the edge, I become so afraid. What is wrong with me? When someone else does it, it seems so easy but I am still so freaking afraid of this edge. Of course, I'm talking about Will. Should I say yes? I mean, what if it doesn't work out? But it could. What if I fall too into love? Will I later tear myself apart falling out? I need to be fearless, but I am still full of fear. I guess that's the risk of loving. It could be a total fail. But we have a mightly God and well...who knows what will happen. I do love him, but I'm more afraid of losing him. I'm sure it's beautiful when you dive, but now I'm trembling on the edge of something wonderful.

"I guess I took the chance," I say, laughing. If I only knew.....