and we are so far from home, but we're so happy

I've been thinking for a few days how I'd say this. But I'm just going to go out and be clear: this is my last post here on this blog.

I know I haven't barely posted in the past few months. Some of that is because I've been busy and some is because this blog just isn't me anymore. I look back and see the blog of a senior in high school, beach girl with a heart full of dreams and rambling about my future. Now I'm a wife living in the west, watching my music dreams take shape locally, working part-time, and dreaming more of more of little ones soon. It's hard for me to blog here, because this blog is just a shadow of who I was.

This blog has held my graduation, my healing from death and my past, my falling in love, my mission trip, my engagement, and my marriage. I've written here in the perks of happiness and in the depths of depression. It's been a piece of life I never want to forget.

I love you readers of mine. Some of you girls have been dear friends. Sometimes one of you would just email me in hard times saying you were praying for me. That meant a lot. My time in the blogger world was a whole lot of fun and something I never want to forget. Thanks for the memories.

But it's time to move on.

Maybe I'll post here in a few months (or years) saying I have a new blog. Maybe I'll pop in with pictures of children one day.

Yet for now, I'm closing the book.

I've changed. Change is good and I'm the happiest I've ever been. I started here as A Rose in Bloom and I leave you as bloomed...I've found myself.

Bye, my faithful followers.

Always,
Maya    

these happy golden days

I haven't been here lately, have I? Oh well. I'm a few sentences away from completeing the next leg in my love story, plus finishing a certain re-cap of a certain day last month. Those will come in sweet time, but for now this is "I am still alive, but just really don't have time for thinking up deep and good posts" kind of post. I've never been the best blogger on keeping up, but at least this is a reminder I am still alive and remember this place.

 

Life's been good, but also busy. I can't gurantee it'll ever slow down enough for me to post a lot, but at least I'll pop in every once in a while.

 

My good and busy life has consisted of working full time and being married to my husband! I am so freakin' happy. These are truly the happen golden days. So many times with my Husband being his and my friends before the move. God's been teaching my so much. My heart is so full. We've been treasuring our last days on the east coast by spending most every night at the beach or in the water. I'm such a beach girl and honestly have never been a fan of the west in any way, but maybe I'll fall in love with mountains. This move has been harder than previous moves, because it's so far away. My heart's torn, but it's God's plan right now and I know He has good things in store.

 

Until the day when I post again, please visit my newly created ask.fm. I'll anwser any questions on my life or if you guys want to know more about the wedding, honeymoon, or our love story. I'll eventually try to blog some of these, but for now feel free to ask up. Feel free to ask any other questions, too! I'd love to anwser. The address is: http://ask.fm/Efflorescencebymaya

 

a bit of happily ever after.

"They say if you dream a thing more than once, it's sure to come true." - Sleeping Beauty

There are so many beautiful stories I'm processing from the wedding and the honeymoon, so many gifts to still open, so many pictures to cry and grin over, and so many emails and well-wishes to respond to. There are so many beautiful ways God's been faithful in the past week. There are so many ways I've fallen deeper in love with my husband (may I never grow tired of using that phrase) which have lead to only loving God more. There are so many bits of our happily ever after I can't wait to write about.

But for now, I don't have the time to put all that's gone through my head and notebooks into words.

All I can say is that:

I'm married!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(I feel just to use as many exclamation marks as a middle schooler, because that's how I feel).

It was beautiful and it happened and I'm weeping right now because it was perfection. He has made all my dreams come true and that I can't even remember a time before the wedding bliss of being completely his wife.

- M.C.

To My Love

Dearest,
You are my best friend, my love, my treasure.
I can't remember a feeling of love that wasn't completely for you.
As the Notebook says,“You are, and always have been, my dream.” 
You've given me new dreams for my life, you've made me  your dream.
Your smile is the thing I've been looking for in a man my entire life.
My heart falls into your heart, my hands fall into your hands.
Your not a Prince Charming and your not perfect, but your perfect for me.
We're young and we're going to figure this thing called life out together.
Just you, me, and the world.
You passionately serve the Savior, you devote your life to Him.
You text me in the middle of the night and send me photo's of everything beautiful you see.
You took a chance several years back in trying to love me and it was the best chance you ever made.
We've messed up and we haven't done it perfectly.
Most days I thought we'd never make it this far.
But we've done it and we're going to keep on pushing.
Because seeing your grin everyday makes it worth it.
I know we'd both walk a million miles just to spend time with one another.
We're so different, but we share the same love.
I'll love you until the day we die, and even after that.
Of the billions that walk the earth each day, your my favorite.
I love the way your favorite color is the color of the beach's sunrise.
I love that you make confused faces even when everything makes sense.
I love the way you always take me on the most creative dates.
I love the way you drum your fingers when your nervous.
I love the way you never don't have something beautiful to say to me.
I love how you draw me close and all I can hear is your heartbeat.
Your always positive and you always are trying to glorify God in every area.
If I had to listen to one sound for the rest of my life, it would be the strum of your guitar.
Darling, I can't wait to be completely yours tomorrow.
I can't wait to kiss you at the alter.
You were so worth waiting for.
 Completely yours,
Your Girl               

 

~~~                                             

“So it's not gonna be easy. It's going to be really hard; we're gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me... everyday. (The Notebook)”

 

I'm getting married tomorrow to the greatest boy ever. I feel infinite. He's made me the happiest. I'll update you all when I come back from the honeymoon!

Today, I finished my last day at work. I hug (and cried) as I had to tell my sweet kids goodbye after so many happy weeks of watching them. They've taught me so much and been a huge part of my life this season.

Tomorrow, it will be a week until my wedding. My wedding dress is hanging up in my parent's house and every detail from napkins to candles are finally finished. I'm so very ready. I can't wait to finally be married after so much waiting.

This isn't what I imagined for my 19th year of life. I imagined myself as a independent college student pursuing music. I didn't expect to be a wife this year. I didn't except to be moving a month after my honeymoon. I didn't expect for there to be more and more talks of ministry and missions.

But God had different plans. He brought an island girl and a rough missionary boy together. We've both taught each other so much of the world. He's put us on the same journey together. We're too imperfect human beings serving a perfect God and trusting His perfect plan. It's a journey that we can't see what it's going to look like, but we know where we'll end up. I can't wait for the good days and I also can't wait to learn from the hard days.

I can't wait to start these happy golden years of marriage in a week. I can't wait to share a little apartment and make things work with almost no money. I can't wait to spend all of our days together until we grow old. I can't wait to love each other no matter that the world throws at us. I can't wait to care for each other in sickness and in health. I can't wait to hear the sound of my boy's guitar every day of my life. I can't wait to be entirely his, both in our hearts and in our flesh. I can't wait to take many beautiful adventure together. I can't wait to have many kids together, raising them up in Christ.

So different than I dreamed, but it's going to be beautiful.

a new chapter

God is so very good to us! I'm not sure I mentioned in any previous posts, but our lives were a big uncertain chapter after the wedding. Will is graduating college in May, and was currently job-less. The Lord's blessed him a job in ministry and we are currently praying desperately this job may lead to our dreams.

This does mean we're moving...again. This time right across America. Yep, we're going to be Colorado bound come June. I've moved several times in the past few years, but never much away from the south-east. It's going to be hard to leave my roots, but I trust God fully and completely. We're going to be living in a tiny (and I mean it's tiny. Only two rooms + a bathroom. Oh and a closet or two) apartment.

Another way God's been faithful? We've known about the job for two weeks, but both have been aware of my job-situation. My hope is to be a mom someday and raise my own children, but we're not exactly hoping to start our family for many months. Will's job isn't the highest paying job, so I started looking for a job immediately. That's when an old friend who lives in Colorado offered me a job coaching a swim team up there. It's such a blessing and I finally can back to swimming after the longest break. God is so faithful.

I have a feeling it's going to be an wild and insane first year of marriage, but we trust God.

Here is to Colorado and weddings!

Our Adventure//Part three

There, I was. Sitting in sweatpants, my heart racing. He, the kid I was sure I was over, just emailed me. Me, the girl I was sure he didn't freaking care about. He wrote (I still have it saved to my computer)

Hey, this is a crazy what-if, but do you think you and Jeremy could hang out next Thursday? I'll be in town and am getting together a bunch of kids to go to the park. Tell me if you can come.

Of course, I said yes.

So we scheduled to meet up at the park that day and hang out. On top of me and my brother, a few others came. It was the first time we were all together after Will had left for college. I remember my heart racing to the same degree it used to.

Seriously. You need to stop that! I kept telling myself  over and over.

I didn't know it at the time, but Will began to fall for me that. I noticed him talking to me a lot that day and I noticed he seemed to be nearby wherever I went.

When I went to find rocks on the stream, he followed.
When I fell in the lake, he helped me up and laughed (so did I).
When I went and sat under a tree, so did I.
When I did stupid things and played my guitar, sparks flew for him.

But the whole time I tried to ignore him. I didn't want to fall back in love.

(Lesson to every girl ever: don't ignore a guy who goes out of his way to give you attention).

That night I went to bed, my heart happy from our time spent together, but trying not to be too happy. My friend kept texting me with things like "I think he likes you!" and I was like "Yeah, right."

I saw Will again the next Sunday, but we didn't talk. I did catch hi starring at me across the way. He went back to college, and I found myself feeling lonely and broken again. I found myself crying over every love song and spending way too much time looking at the heart-shaped rock he'd found up at the stream and casually handed to me.

The next day, there was a new Facebook message from him. I didn't open it. I did school. But I thought of that message all day. Finally, I went to look at it around three before I died of being curious.

Hey, Maya. I was just thinking about the great time we had at the park the other day.  The thing is, I really miss you guys. We need to catch up more. What if we tried to stay better friends? I'd really like that. Getting emails from you would be the best thing to this homesick boy.
-W

I broke down. I knew I liked him deep inside, but inside I was so afraid. Was I loving someone who would turn away and get a college girlfriend in an instant? Was I loving someone who'd forget my name?

No. This one email was him saying, "Hey. I know you exist. And I want to continue to know you exist."

So I sent back an email and said something to the degree of, "I'd love to keep in touch more often."

I took that what-if.



So we emailed back and forth about once a week. We talked about his college classes. We talked about my high school experience. We talked about his dog. We talked about my cat. I learned his favorite color was red. He found out my favorite colors were blue, coral, and grey--the colors of the sea. I sent him guitar tabs. He sent me rap songs. After a while, we started to talk more about ourselves. More about our dreams. The emails become more often.

I started to suspect he really did like me back.

And I felt like I was right on taking the craziest what-if of my love life so far.

But one question pressed on my mind. Did he like me or was this just a friend thing?

/////

via

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if we went on more adventure, the kids that scare us out of our skins. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if we took more crazy chances, the kinds that usually end up with someone hurt. Sometimes I wonder what would life would be like, if I hadn't told so many friends goodbye and moved so many places. Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if we went for roadtrips when we felt like it, and did other things because we just wanted to. Sometimes I wonder what all the backroads look like that we've always skipped. Sometimes I wonder if anyone would care if we ran away and danced on those roads and took those chances and did all those crazy things.

Sometimes I think that'd be a good idea.

Thursday Interview|Neeley

 

Feauturing Neeley from Run Free.

To begin, tell us a bit about yourself, what inspired you to begin blogging, and what has inspired you to continue.
Hey, there, blogging world! I'm Neeley and I blog over at Run Free.
What inspired me to start blogging is the fact I am an aspiring writer, but I have a fear of sharing my words with anyone. So blogging was a way to force myself to write for others. What keeps me going is the same fact. I always need to be writing something and blogging helps a lot. Blogging helps me a lot in that area of my life.

Do you have any goals for the upcoming year? What gave you a desire to make these goals?

Finish my book. After that, just seek my Savior and live an adventure.
 

 

Define inspiration (to you).

Inspiration is the little things in life (and the big things)  that sparks a feeling. Sometimes it's a summer campfire, or the stars, or heavy nostalgia, or the smell of books, or the look of a stranger in subway, or the first step out of an airplane. All these things mean something in an oddly beautiful way.
 

Where do you get the most inspiration daily for your photography/writing?

Reading, thinking, stargazing, coffee shops, and all the other beautiful things in this life.

Every life is a story. What lesson do you think people could learn from yours?

I still have a lot of life to live and a lot of stories to create so who knows what I'll have to say at the end of my days. But right now, I think my life story would be simply another prism reflecting His light. I was once a shy unsocial girl who was a pro-wallflower. But God, rich in mercy, called me to be a saint. By looking at the way, I was radically brought out of my shell....you can see His infinite faithfulness.

 

If you could travel anywhere in the world, at any time, where and what time?

Now, I'd love to go to Iceland, Alaska, or Norway. I'm obsessed with the Arctic.

But if I was able to go anywhere at anytime, I'd love to go to Jerusalem while Jesus was alive and teaching. Perhaps after He had risen.
 

What are you looking forward to most in the next year?

Going on a mission trip this summer. And I'm also just excited about the adventure's this year holds that I don't know about yet. I love the uncertain.

 

What's one of your favorite memories? Why? What does it mean to you?

Our youth retreat last year. Coming into it, I was struggling with bitterness towards relationships in my life. But God really transformed the hearts of every teen there. It's incredible to remember the last night, where everyone was praying, and remember my tears of thankfulness after over a year of prayer for stronger relationships.

 

If you knew you were going to die, what would be on your must-do bucket list?

I'd finish my book. I'd go see the Nothern Lights. I'd go to every city in the world.

 

 If you could jump into one book or movie, which one?

Harry Potter. I mean, seriously. Who wouldn't? ;)

 

Picture this. You're going on adventure. But you can only take three things. What would you choose?

My journal, my camera, and someone to share the adventure with.

 

What's your favorite quote of all time?

“Some wish to stay within the sound of church or chapel bell. I’d rather run a rescue shop within a
yard of hell.” – C.T. Studd

 

What do you plan on pursing as a career currently? What sparked this?

I'm going to follow my calling to be a missionary. My Dad is very involved in missions, which always made me interested. But the older I get, the more I realize every single Christian is called to the nations. And then, a mission trip last summer made me realize missions is truly what I feel His glory the most in. I can't wait to see where God leads.

 

 If you made a soundtrack/mixtape of your life what songs would be on there?

 

The Hymn, Be Thou My Vision, is my life anthem.
Also:
This is Home//Switchfoot.
Hopeless Wanderer and Below My Feet//Mumford and Sons.

It's Time//Imagine Dragons.

Only Life//The Shins

A collection of Les Mis songs.

Also a collection of sounds, like certain voices's whispers, the echo of cars in the city, and the strumming of my brother's guitar would create my soul-mixtape.

 

What do you want to be remembered as?

My only desire is to be remembered as one who ran free, despite the storms of life. One who lived radically for the Gospel, even into death.

 

Where do you see you in 5 years from today?

a college student, sitting in a coffee shop, writing.

 

As we finish, tell us what advice you'd give to yourself (if you could) on the day you began blogging.

Don't be afriad to be youself. So many times I didn't publish everything in a post I wanted to, because I was afraid what my readers would think.

 

 Thanks!

fragments of winter

// Getting married in 35 days! I can't wait to be a wife. The buzz around the idea is just unreal. It's strange to pass by the invite on the fridge everyday and see our names or realize I have an actual wedding shower on Sunday. I keep telling myself, yes this is real! Oh, how I love my boy.
"Can one die of happiness?"

// Making a formspring. You should go ask me, something ;) Anything!

// Josh Garrels music. Need I say more?

// The hours and hours we've spent dreaming of talking of forming our home together are now ahead of us. To be honest, I have no idea what's in store for next year but I do know God's always been faithful and I have confidence He will be again.

// Mornings with chai tea and reading through Ephesians.

// Meeting new people. Now that I'm engaged, I get to meet all the people in Will's life. His extended family, his friends I haven't met before, and I even met his babysitter and piano teacher at Church last week. I've been told getting married is like getting a whole new giant family, and it is. Oh, I love people!

// Fangirling with Rachael and Sophie. I know I'm an adult, but still I'm a child when it comes to movies. And I have the best sister and friends in the world to freak out with me :)

// American Idol this year. That's been my favorite show my entire life because of my music love. There's a bucket load of REALLY talented folk this season and it's been awesome to watch. I know there's a bunch of hate going out to the judges, and I do miss the old ones, but I love them. Angela Miller is one of my favorite contestants ever, also. It's one heck of a season.

// I'm a tad bit behind on blogging, I know. I didn't publish this week's Thursday interview (whoops) and I know you all are ready for the 3rd installment of Our Adventure. But I'm hoping to wrap up both of the series before the wedding, so expect more soon. I'll try to get better and do 'real' posting more someday when life isn't so wild! Love you all!

Smiles, Maya

a quick word on forgiveness

The Lord our God is merciful and forgiving, even though we have rebelled against him -Daniel 9:9

This is something that's been on my heart to share: forgiveness. I spent many years searching and wanting forgiveness from my Father after my rough childhood. No, I didn't need to be forgiven. But I demanded forgiveness in a way. I only desired forgiveness and didn't see the sin in my own life. Then, one morning I woke up and realized that in demanding forgiveness I was sinning as much as my Father was sinning against me.
I also, hadn't forgiven my Father for what he did so I expected him to forgive me. God forgives me, even though I continue to sin and even though without Him I am a wrench. So it's our biblical calling to do the same to out brothers and sisters in Christ.

So even though it was years before he forgave me, I forgave him and it gave me such a peace. A peace in doing what Christ desires. My desire for my Father's forgiveness had given me incorrect view of both God and myself.

Forgive endlessly even when the other person doesn't forgive. Forgive seventy-times-seventy times. Forgive them even when they aren't sorry, because God forgave us when we weren't sorry.
 

Thursday Interview | Jessica

 

Featuring the wonderful Jessica from the alcove.

To begin, tell us a bit about yourself, what inspired you to begin blogging, and what has inspired you to continue
Hey there, I'm Jess, and I blog over at the alcove. I'm nineteen years old; I was born and raised in the city of Mesa, Arizona, where there is beauty in abundance. Rainy days make me smile, and I love books that can make me cry. I've always been the kind of girl who loves creating pretty things + sharing her heart, which is what originally made blogging a good outlet for me. Now, I'm inspired by the many valuable friends that I've made from around the world. I don't know what I would do without their prayers and encouragements.

Do you have any goals for the upcoming year? What gave you a desire to make these goals?
My goals for this year mainly revolve around furthering my education and career. I'll be finishing up some classes at my local community college this semester, and from there I hope to start taking some massage therapy courses + learning more about natural medicine. I'd also like to earn my driver's license, and continue branching out in photography as a hobby.

Define inspiration (to you).
Inspiration, to me, is anything that triggers creativity. It could be a line from a song, it could be something in nature, it could be any number of things. While I believe that it's important to work hard, whether or not you have it or not, I also believe that it can help you produce the finest results in whatever you're doing.

Where do you get the most inspiration daily for your photography/writing?
My inspiration for my writing usually comes from whatever books/poetry I'm reading. (Most good writers are bookworms, after all.) I think that my photography inspiration comes from other photographers online (my favorites are listed here) and Creation. I make it a point to go for a walk, at least a few times a week. When I see something that strikes me as beautiful, I just have to preserve it. Photography and writing are the best way (for me) to do that.

 If you could travel anywhere in the world, at any time, where and what time?

I want to travel all over the world, but first of all, to Ireland. From what photos I've seen, the books I've read, and what my father and his mother have told me, it's amazing. (A note: I have quite a bit of Irish blood in me from both sides of my family, so my decision may be a bit biased.)

What are you looking forward to most in the next year?
I have many things to look forward to this year. For one, I want to go to school and learn more about natural healing + massage therapy. I'm praying that the Lord will bless me with a job in that field. Also, I'm very excited to be moving forward in my relationship with a Godly man, and making plans for our future together. :)

What's one of your favorite memories? Why? What does it mean to you?

Summers spent at my grandmother's house. We would have barbeques, and my brothers and I would go swimming with our cousins until we lay exhausted in the grass, watching the shadows grow long, and the desert sun disappear. Later in the evening, we would always listen and laugh at the adults' stories from yester-years, anxious to grow up so that we could make memories of our own. Those summers were the best days of my childhood - I'd give just about anything to go back there for awhile.

Picture this. You’re going on adventure. But you can only take three things. What would you choose? My journal is the first thing I would grab. I rarely leave the house without it, and when I do, I regret not having somewhere to write down my thoughts. The second thing would be my camera, charged and ready to capture all of the sights I'm going to see. And the third... (do people count as things? I just can't go on an adventure without my guy.)

What's your favorite quote of all time? 
The one that came to mind when I read your question was this, so it's the one I'm going to go with: "Always be a first-rate version of yourself, rather than a second-rate version of someone else." (Judy Garland)
I think this quote speaks volumes, especially to the young men and women of our generation. It's a good thing to remember, especially when you're pursuing what you love, to better yourself for your own sake, not for the sake of measuring up to someone else's standards.

 What do you plan on pursing as a career currently? What sparked this?
The soundtrack of my heart is extremely eclectic, and includes everything from classical to indie pop. A little bit of country, a little bit of rock and roll. (Mostly acoustic guitar, since that sound has always awakened something special in me.) Also, it's miles long, so I won't trouble you with the entire list here.

If you made a soundtrack/mixtape of you life what songs would be on there? 
The soundtrack of my heart is extremely eclectic, and includes everything from classical to indie pop. A little bit of country, a little bit of rock and roll. (Mostly acoustic guitar, since that sound has always awakened something special in me.) Also, it's miles long, so I won't trouble you with the entire list here.
What do you want to remembered as?
"A woman after Yahweh's own heart."

We live in a culture that often sucks us in to not being ourselves. What helps you stay genuine.
I think being genuine is mostly about having your priorities straight. I'm not living for other peoples' acceptance or praises - I'm living for my King. Which means that when I like something, I'm not afraid to show it, even if it's 'not popular'. It also means that I'm not afraid to love something that everyone loves. (There's a difference, I think, between following a fad, and pursuing what you love.) Basically, do what you do and love what you love for yourself and God, because in the end, it really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.

 Where do you see you in 5 years from today?
I like to believe that, five years from today, I'll be married to the man I love and starting a family. Maybe practicing natural medicine from home, but always focusing on my job as a wife and mom first. Essentially, all that really matters is that I'm where my Lord wants me. If He's pleased with me, then I'll be happy wherever I'm at.

 As we finish, tell us what advice you'd give to yourself (if you could) on the day you began blogging. Don't be afraid to be yourself. Expect that the numbers will never be everything that you want them to be, and just have fun.

Thanks, Jess!

Thursday Interview|Raquel

 

Featuring the lovely Raquel from God's Daughter

 

To begin, tell us a bit about yourself, what inspired you to begin blogging, and what has inspired you to continue. I am a writer, aspiring singer, abolitionist, freelance model, and blogger.  I began blogging as a form of ministry to the youth of my generation and as an outlet for writing on topics that I felt the LORD wanted me to share with others.  Inspired me to continue?  God...and the support of my fans and readers.  Comments make blogging worthwhile.

 Do you have any goals for the upcoming year? What gave you a desire to make these goals? Getting my license...memorizing a book of the Bible...writing more posts on my blog this year than last.  I think they’re pretty self-explanatory. haha

 Define inspiration (to you). Inspiration can come in many different forms.  A thought, a word, a song, a verse.  It’s anything that is beautiful to you.  Anything that touches that inner chord deep inside of you that gives you an overwhelming feeling of joy and happiness.  Inspiration makes you want to do something - anything!  Every great person started out with a thought, a desire, and an inspiration to fulfill their dream.

 Where do you get the most inspiration daily for your photography/writing? God...friends...Pinterest...other blogs.

Every life is a story. What lesson do you think people could learn from yours? I think John Newton said it best: ‘...two things I remember very clearly.  That I am a great sinner and Christ is a great Savior.’  That defines me and my life too.

 If you could travel anywhere in the world, at any time, where and what time? I’ve never really thought of a ‘time’ to do it, but I definitely want to visit...Japan, Italy, France, Spain, England.

 What are you looking forward to most in the next year? Seeing what God teaches me, getting my license, and my trip to Washington D.C.

 What's one of your favorite memories? Why? What does it mean to you? When my Dad gave me my purity ring.  Because it was something that I’d been wanting to have - a physical, concrete object to symbolize my commitment to purity.

 If you knew you were going to die, what would be on your must-do bucket list? Oh goodness...it’s between recording my own album or publishing a book.

 If you could jump into one book or movie, which one? Book: the Hunger Games trilogy.  Movie: pretty much any of the Marvel movies.

Picture this. You’re going on adventure. But you can only take three things. What would you choose? May I please take 4 things??  They’d be...my Bible, my best friend, my horse, and my iPod.

What's your favorite quote of all time?  My favorite quote kind of changes from day to day or week to week.  My current favorite is a new one I found by Craig Keener:

‘To acknowledge that God has the right to decide whether to grant or refuse a request is not a lack of faith.  It is the ultimate act of dependence on God’s compassion and takes great trust and commitment for a desperate person.’

 What do you plan on pursing as a career currently? What sparked this? I honestly don’t have any ‘career’ interest.  My dream has always been to be a wife and mommy...ever since I was about 4 years old.  How I raise my children is a legacy that will carry on for generations to come.  It’s one of the biggest ministry opportunities that God could have ever possibly blessed two people with.  I also love music and writing...though I’ve never viewed it as a ‘career’.  It’s something I hope to pursue now as an unmarried woman, and even when I am married (if my husband doesn’t object;)

If you made a soundtrack/mixtape of you life what songs would be on there? 

Oh dang, what a FABULOUS question! Here goes...

Divine Romance - Phil Wickham

All I Really Want is More of You - Lincoln Brewster

Closer - Shawn McDonald

You’ll Never Be Alone - Capital Kings

Can’t Get Over You - Anthem Lights

There are so many more I could add, but those are the top few that I can think of:)

What do you want to remembered as? A woman completely sold out to her LORD and Savior, striving to live her day to day life according to His will and rejoicing in reaching out to others and showing them God’s love.

 We live in a culture that often sucks us in to not being ourselves. What helps you stay genuine. God.  He constantly reminds me that I am unique, not to try to be like others because He MADE me different, and He loves me just the way I am.  I’ve kind of gotten over the ‘self-conscious’ stage where I’m always worried what people think of me.  I’m too weird and crazy to really care now:P

 Where do you see you in 5 years from today?  LORD-willing married...maybe with a child...and doing some sort of ministry through music.

 As we finish, tell us what advice you'd give to yourself (if you could) on the day you began blogging.  You’re gonna get a lot of hate emails and comments, but don’t let it get you down.  God has a plan through all of it.  And every negative response you receive, only means that you’re doing something for Him.  Don’t give up.

 

 

 

 

Wedding Planning

Pinned from my wedding-loving Pinterest board.

Wedding planning is so much different than I expected.

In all honesty, after the shock and amazement of actually being engaged...I realized the shock and amazement of the fact we weren't just engaged but getting married. And getting married means having a wedding.

My only wedding, my one day, my one moment. Yes, it can be a tad bit stressful.

Every girl dreams of her perfect wedding. It's honestly odd to actually be planning mine. All those dreams, ideas, and conversations of "when I get married," are now reality. It's stressful, but together I'm making those dreams real and creating new ones. It's not just "one day" anymore. It's today.

The main thing from the start was I wanted my wedding to be 100% me and Will. I didn't want a stiff, people-pleasing wedding. I didn't want just another Church wedding/Church hall reception where people leave thinking to themselves "that was nice" but soon get it mixed up with the hundreds of others they'd been to in the same place. It's our one day, it's going to be our one memory to talk about and tell stories about for forever. So I want it to be us. I want people to remember our wedding, for it stand out, and for it to be overflowing with things we love and the people we live.

So further ado, we've created in our minds our perfect wedding and working out the details so it's not just in our minds.

Place//Ceremony
Since, we've both moved around so much it's hard to put our finger on place to call home. So it was hard to pick a place to wed. But as we sat in my families den disscussing our wedding day--Will threw out the idea of getting married on the beach. I pretty much died and I knew it was another clear sign God had given me the right man. If you know me at all, you know I adore the beach. So all that to say my dream is coming true. We're having an ocean-side wedding! The colors are teal, white, and coral. It's just playing out perfect because nothing is more us than a beach. Will and I fell in love during many summer nights on the beach with friends. It's a piece of our story.

Music
Other than the beach, the biggest part of my life has been music. All the music I want to be live and and completely acoustic. All I want to hear is real guitars as I walk down the aisle. So I got some of my favorite musical friends to play at my wedding. And my beautiful friend Sophie is going to sing. We've put together a playlist and I start crying every time I listen to it. Happiness is not the right word.  I feel forever. It's really happening. I'm really going to get married during these songs!

Worship
The core of our story is God and I want Him to be glorified above all on this day. I want to worship as a part of the ceremony. I want lots of prayer. Marriage is a reflection of God's love for His people, His bride, and I want ours to be the same. Worshiping has become a common thing in marriage nowadays, and I immediately wanted a song or two played for all to sing. I want to show people, it's not just all about us but all about God.

Reception
We're having a reception at a friends house who lives near the beach were getting married at. They have a fairly large house and yard, which is perfect. We're getting married right before dinner, so were having dinner at the reception then of course we'll have dancing. I want it to be a fun celebration!

Bridesmaids
I think this is a detail easily overlooked. I didn't just want a line of ten friends. I wanted the girls in my life that had impacted who I am and girls who will continue to be a part of my life. After much thinking I decided on my sister, Emily, for my maid of honor. On top of that, I'm having four bridesmaids: My sister Rachael, my sister-in-law, my best friend Sophie, and Will's sister. These girls mean the world to me and will continue to be in my life. I'm so thankful.

Dresses
The dress was something I was immediately excited about. My entire life I'd cut out pictures in magazine, drooled on Pinterest, and dreamed of what my gown would look like. In the end, I found a white sun dress-type wedding gown that me and my mother together worked on. The final product is finished and hanging in my Mom's closet. I love it so much.
Girls, when it comes time for your big day: don't feel like you have to find the perfect dress. I found one I sorta of liked and made it into what I've always had in my head. Making and sewing are wonderful resources.
The Bridesmaid dresses are a light coral and I freaking love them. My Mom also made them (she's the bomb).


That's all for now, but of course there is much more into planning a wedding. Right now, my floor is coated with pictures of flowers and picking out bouquets. Only last week, I spent nearly 8 hours addressing all the wedding invitations.

I'm taking it slow and I'm having fun. The last thing on earth I want is for this day to become stressful, and us to lose sight of what we're doing.

In all, becoming Will's wife is the happiest thing in my life. I can't wait for April! It's so close! And it's actually happening!

Hannah||Thursday Interview

 

Featuring the lovely Hannah from Genuine.

 

 

To begin, tell us a bit about yourself, what inspired you to begin blogging, and what has inspired you to continue.

 What's up, guys! I'm Hannah, a homeschooled sophomore, who spends the better part of math class daydreaming. I am a dancer, singer, aspiring guitarist, and adventurer. Oh, and by the way, chocolate and I are best friends.
I love music more than anything else in the world, and I feel the calling to pursue a career in it. However, music did not become a part of my life until very recently.
 For a very long time, I struggled with depression.

Those are big words, I know.
For three years, I somehow managed to keep all of my emotions bottled up inside. I may have looked like a happy, smiley kid to my family and friends but on the inside, I was dying. Life for me didn't have the color or the joy that it used to when I was little.

 It eventually got to the point where I thought more about ending my life than living it. That's when Jesus took a hold of me and showed me how to heal from deep wounds people had left on my heart all those years ago. He showed me (and is still showing me all the time) how to work past my insecurities. He gave me new passions and dreams, and he gave me what I so desperately craved: hope for my future.

I began blogging when I was ten or eleven, but I changed my blogs and gave them all new names more times that I could ever even begin to count. But then I created my current blog, called Genuine, just after I made the decision to turn over a new leaf and begin taking steps away from my old life.
 Genuine has become a place for me to tell the world about my struggle. Once the healing process began for me, I was inspired by Jesus to share my story with people who need some hope in their lives. I want to let them know that there is always a way out and that suicide is never the answer.

What inspires me to keep blogging is knowing that there are always people out there who need words of encouragement to keep up the fight.

And that is my mission.

Do you have any goals for the upcoming year? What gave you a desire to make these goals?

I hope to become more dedicated in learning to play guitar.

Once I decided to pursue a music career, I knew that I must master guitar. A lot of my inspiration to learn came from my musical hero Nick Wheeler, from a band called The All-American Rejects. He is crazy-talented and I hope to one day play like him.

 

Define inspiration (to you).

 Inspiration for me is having an epiphany sparked from the lyrics of a song.

Where do you get the most inspiration daily for your photography/writing?

 In one word, life.

 Every life is a story. What lesson do you think people could learn from yours?

That there is ALWAYS a way out. Absolutely anyone can heal from their past, no matter how dark the road has been.

 If you could travel anywhere in the world, at any time, where and what time?

I would travel to England (mainly because I just dig British accents) during anytime in the late 1700s.

What are you looking forward to most in the next year?

Becoming a more outgoing, genuine person who lives life full out!

 What's one of your favorite memories? Why? What does it mean to you?

Meeting one of my favorite bands, For King and Country last fall. I was so encouraged to never give up after listening to them, and was inspired to live my dream after talking with them. It truly was a life-changing experience.

 If you knew you were going to die, what would be on your must-do bucket list?

Consume as much sugar as I wanted.

 If you could jump into one book or movie, which one?

Harry Potter. HECK YES.

 Picture this. You're going on adventure. But you can only take three things. What would you choose?

My ipod

My camera

A pocket knife.

What's your favorite quote of all time?

"Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." - Albert Einstein

 

What do you plan on pursing as a career currently? What sparked this?

Obviously music, but more specifically, to be the lead singer of a band.

This desire was sparked during my recovery from depression. Music encouraged me so much during that time, and I knew that I just had to write my own songs to inspire other people to never give up. I wanted to encourage like I had been encouraged.

 If you made a soundtrack/mixtape of your life what songs would be on there?

Still That Girl by Britt Nicole, Middle Of Your Heart by For King and Country, Move Along by The All-American Rejects, Make It Without You by Andrew Belle, Blame It On The Rain by He Is We, and Breathe by Anberlin

What do you want to be remembered as?

The girl who lived and loved without restraint.

We live in a culture that often sucks us in to not being ourselves. What helps you stay genuine?

I think trusting that God made me special and unique and beautiful is what mainly helps me to stay genuine. Basically, training myself to fully believe his promises. Also, surrounding myself with people, especially role models, who are unique in some of the same ways that I am. Sometimes, that has meant actively going and seeking out those people. It can be hard, but it is so encouraging to know that's you aren't alone!

Where do you see you in 5 years from today?

Hopefully in a band, with an album or two put out, maybe even touring...
Also, I hope to see myself married and maybe starting a family. (:

As we finish, tell us what advice you'd give to yourself (if you could) on the day you began blogging.

I would have told myself that I was beautiful, inside and out. I would have told myself that true healing from all the junk in my life was only gonna come from God. I would have told myself that being genuine, being real and true to who I was made to be, was the only thing that was gonna make me happy with myself.

But most importantly, I would have told myself that God had a plan for me that was going to be way beyond what I could ever have imagined. That He would see me through whatever was to come in order to have me fulfilling my purpose.

And every day now, I see that plan unfolding. And it is beautiful.

And yours is, too.

 

This Unexpected Joy

 

Last night, I was driving home. Me, alone, in the midst of the city lights. A mix of snow and rain beat on the window. Sarah Groves faintly played on the radio.

 

This morning, I sat in a apartment, a cup of coffee in my hands, tears faint on my cheeks as I read The Word.

 

Today, I cuddled two beautiful children all day, listening to their laughs, dreaming of being a mommy someday.

 

Just now, I was sitting at a cafe downtown, talking with a soul-sister over coffee, the Lummineers playing faintly.  

 

During all these moments, I am so aware of His love and how great He is that I, once a wrench, now may learn to love Him.

 

He is SO very faithful and SO very wonderful. I was reading through old emails my seventeen year old self had sent one year ago. They were brimming with college plans and hopes. In my mind, a year later I would be in some college program, working part-time, and still living at home. And I dreamed I'd be pursuing my musical dreams. I never dreamed I'd be a full-time nanny, living in my very own basement apartment, and I'll be a married girl come spring. I've pushed the idea of a musical career behind me for the time being, and Will and I both feel God calling to be missionaries in the near future. What have I say to all this? God is good. He is so very good! I honestly feel sorry for Christian whose life's aren't filled with changes, turns, and even pain. All of this has simply taught me this earth is not worth living for. During every single change in my life, God's never failed me. He never will. Through every moment of suffering, He's only taught me that He is my treasure not this world. He's only constantely taught me more of His glory.

 

God's turned years and years of wondering and questions into an unexpected joy of only seeking him. A few months ago, I would wake up uncertain every morning but now I wake up with a certain feeling whatever may happen He will continue to absolutely good.

 

 I always knew life was going to different than I dreamed, but I had no idea what I was in for. I always knew Jesus was going to be good, but I never imagined His glory to be this bright.

 

So now, I am simply tearing up as I write this because I am so thankful.

Susannah||Thursday Interview

 

Featuring Susannah from (Life's too Short Not to) Wear Red Shoes

 

To begin, tell us a bit about yourself, what inspired you to begin blogging, and what has inspired you to continue.

I actually started out blogging just about fashion, and as I got more into photography, I'd post my photos. Eventually it morphed into more of a blog about my life, illustrated with my photography. :) As I've started to realize that Jesus is literally everything, I keep wanting to just spaz out about Him and what He's teaching me. :)

 

 Do you have any goals for the upcoming year? What gave you a desire to make these goals?

This year I was less about "here are all the things I want to accomplish!" and more about the attitude I wanted to strive for. My word this year is "surrender". My goal is to surrender my entire life, repeatedly, daily, to Jesus. Surrender my relationships, my plans, my agenda, my worries, my desires, my doubts. I realized this is what I needed to focus on because God has been showing me how I strive so desperately for control of my life.

 Define inspiration (to you).

Being stirred by something that motivates you to DO. For me, it's Jesus' grace and His work through people, and His beauty in the world. The tastes of heaven.

Where do you get the most inspiration daily for your photography/writing?

For me, it's Jesus' grace in my life, His work through people, His beauty in the world. The tastes of heaven. The beauty and complexity of people. The abundance of this beautiful, colorful, painful, dramatic life. The place where I usually get most inspired is at Starbucks, with my Bible and/or with an amazing person. :)

Every life is a story. What lesson do you think people could learn from yours?

From my mistakes? That Jesus is all that matters. The end.

 

 If you could travel anywhere in the world, at any time, where and what time?

Italy, right now. :)

What are you looking forward to most in the next year?

Taking risks and learning to depend more and more on God. Second-shooting weddings. Going to the beach repeatedly (I hope!)

What's one of your favorite memories? Why? What does it mean to you?

So many! And most of them small, undramatic moments. The week at the beach last summer with many of the best people is definitely one of my favorites. It was outrageously awesome, and was the beginning of a lot of beautiful things.

If you knew you were going to die, what would be on your must-do bucket list?

Depends on how much time I'm working with. :) I'd try to fit in as many of the things on my 100+ bucket list... but some of the top ones would be: go to Italy, write a book, get married.

If you could jump into one book or movie, which one?

High School Musical. Because I'm immature and holy cow, I've always wanted to do those amazing dances.

(Maya's note: this is the most awesome response to this question I've ever heard. The end.)

 Picture this. You're going on adventure. But you can only take three things. What would you choose?

My best friend, my Bible, my best pen. :)

 What's your favorite quote of all time?

I have so many favorite-quotes-of-all-time. But one that I want to really live by, and has been a favorite for years, is:

"If the world is cold, make it your business to build fires." - Horace Traubel

 What do you plan on pursing as a career currently? What sparked this?

People photography (of any sort, really--but probably portrait and weddings). I love photography, and I love interacting and learning about people. So it's kind of perfect. :)

 If you made a soundtrack/mixtape of your life what songs would be on there?

After the Storm by Mumford & Sons

Current, want-to-live-my-life-by-them songs are:

Surrender by Flame

In Christ Alone

Desert Soul by Rend Collective Experiment

 What do you want to remembered as?

a lover of Jesus and people.

We live in a culture that often sucks us in to not being ourselves. What helps you stay genuine?

Something I've been starting to learn in a real, nitty-gritty way is that my identity is in Christ alone, and not in what I do, what others think of me, what I look like, my mistakes.

Where do you see you in 5 years from today?

Hopefully married, making money as a photographer, more lost in God's grace.

As we finish, tell us what advice you'd give to yourself (if you could) on the day you began blogging.

Be real, speak from your life. Don't worry about what other people are doing. Only blog when you love it--don't let it become something you feel like you have to do.

Thanks, Susannah!

 

 

our adventure//part two

part one

When I was a freshman, I thought I would grow up, not like anyone, and one day find a perfect future husband and court him for three months then get married. I was taught rules as stay in your perfect little sheltered home until some guy comes and rescues you. I was taught God doesn't give us husbands until were perfectly satisfied in him. Later, I learned these beliefs to be non-biblical (see more on this post) but at the time I started liking Will I was still in this mindset.

This left me confused. I wasn't sure, for the next couple of months, what I believed or how I felt. I just knew one thing. I liked this boy. A lot.

We became good friends after doing the talent show together (we still to this day have no idea whose idea it was to do that act in the first place) and I was filled with a sickening "I don't want to feel this way!" feeling every single time I saw him. I knew he didn't like me back, but I dreamed he might some day.

Our beach trips continued. I liked him more and more, as he would play his guitar and he would just look so handsome. I was torn. Everything I had believed my whole life was suddenly twisted around into a confusing pit. I had told myself I wouldn't like anyone. Yet, here I was.

Then, came spring. I can remember that one day as clear as I can remember this morning. A bunch of kids were meeting to get coffee. I sat there, sipping my coffee talking to my friend Sophie when he walked through the door with his sister. There was happiness in his eyes.

"Guess what," he said, sitting right next to me and addressing the entire group. He later went on to say he had been accepted to college...and a college 6 hours away.I smiled for him, said congratulations, and as soon as the meeting was over I rushed home.

I fell on my bed and cried. All the faint dreams in my mind of us possibly being anything had been thrown away. He was moving. Six hours away. I was going to miss him, so very much.

That's when the phone rang. It was my best friend Lauren. She asked me to come over to her house to spend the night. I did and I spent the night telling her everything about my feelings for Will... everything I had been so ashamed to tell anyone before. With someone else knowing the pain I had felt, I felt slightly less burdened.

That June, Will moved away. We had a goodbye party at his house. There was a campfire like old days. I spent the night talking with my friends and trying to not to think about Will so much. When it was time to go, Will came over to me and my brother Jeremy to say goodbye. He hugged me for the first time that night. He also said some goodbyes to us, but I can't remember what he said.

I do remember going home, smelling like a campfire, and sinking into my covers. I felt more lonely than ever. That night I prayed, "Dear Lord, if it's your will for us to be together, then let it be. If not, help me to trust and understand your plan."

After that night, even though I missed Will badly, I trusted God. I knew he had a plan beyond my understanding.



So fall came and so did my Sophomore year of high school. While I still had a few lingering feelings, I pushed the idea of me and Will out of my mind. I did find myself playing "Your Beautiful" on the guitar often, scrolling through his college facebook posts and pictures, and missing him lots of nights.

But I kept reminding myself it was a stupid high school crush I was getting over. The more he was away, the less I liked him. For the first time, I felt free again.

Then one day I got a email. It was from a certain Will at college. This would change it all.

To be continued...

P.S. For those who were asking, the wedding date is April 20th (yay!). I am currently writing a post on more of those details. Love you all!